4 wimpy words!
Most of us will agree that words have power-the power to inspire, the power to hurt, the power to compel, the power to enrage. And I think we would agree that some words are wimpy!
Try: Try implies failure. If you say, “I’ll try to call you tomorrow,” the person hears “I’ll call you tomorrow.” What you meant to say is that you may call tomorrow but you also might not call. And if you don’t call, you failed and the person is angry. And if someone says to you, “I’ll try to get back to you soon,” you can respond with “Does that mean I will hear from you tomorrow?”
But: is a very commonly used word that often negates what we say. In many case “but” precedes an objection. “We really like this house, but…” We often use “but” to give the impression that there is agreement, when in truth, we disagreed. “But” negates everything that comes before it. We could substitute the word “and” for the word “but” and change the situation to a positive. “We really like this house, and we would have to make a counter offer.”
Can’t: Can’t is often a catch-all word with multiple meanings. Specifically, “can’t” may mean, “I’m physically unable to do that,” “I don’t know how to do that,” or “I don’t want to do that.” If you say “I can’t afford to do that, do you mean “you don’t have the money” or “you really don’t want to?”
Should: One of the most frequently used words is “should.” In fact, our society “shoulds” us to death. We should lose weight, we should spend more time with our loved ones, we should save money. We often use “should” to make ourselves feel guilty. We could say “I might…” or” I’d like to…” When others use “should” they are often attempting to manipulate us or the situation as in “You should have better control over your children.”
Do YOU have any “wimpy words” to add to our list?
6 Comments
Maybe “yes” can be a wimpy word. We use it when we are too weak to use the word “no”. We use it when we don’t want to hurt another’s feelings…as in Yes, that looks nice on you. We use it when we want approval from another…as in, Yes, I will do that for you (even though we don’t have the time or heart for it).
Marilou, Yes! I’d forgotten how often we use it when we really want/need to say no. That’s a great addition to the list of “wimpy” words!
“Interesting”. It used to have meaning, now it simply implies a myriad of vague meanings. Usually, when it’s said now, it quite frankly means that “it” is not interesting at all. It’s dismissive. I only trust this word when it comes from individuals of a “certain age”; by that, I mean those who are over 50, and those who are under 5. Ha! 💜
Theresa, thank you for reminding me of that word “interesting” as I too hear it most often in a sarcastic way, rather than a meaningful one!
Reading this, a few thoughts come to mind. When I was growing up I would often tell my mother “I can’t” when I didn’t want to do something. Her reply was “Can’t froze to death”. My response to the should people is “Don’t should on me”. I had an aunt who used to babysit me. She would often respond to questions with yes then later change it to no. I read once that it is physically easier to say yes than no. Of course there is the human desire to please. So don’t tell the kids this. I had a friend once who would often respond to something I told her with “Isn’t that interesting”. That left me confused. I didn’t know if she was being diplomatic or non-committal. Anyway, words are important but actions do not lie. That’s why it is important to be aware of body language. Animals are very good at this. So why do humans pretend to be smarter and superior to animals?
Mary Kay, I always enjoy your thoughts on my postings! And I certainly agree that depending just on words and not being aware of body language handicaps our understanding. Thank you for your comments!